A Brief Misadventure
by Kitskune Miyake
Summary: Garfield convinces Tim to help him pull a "harmless" prank. What they got was a bit disturbing, heavy on the 'dis.' Based on YJ Headcanon 284. BirdFlash only if you squint your eyes and tilt your head to the side. Low T for slight language.


This is actually the fastest I've churned out a fic, so I'm pretty proud of myself... Only took about 3 1/2 hours. Then again, it's pretty short...

Disclaimer: I make no profit. I have no ownership. What more do you want from me?

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Tim stopped walking, turning to the boy who continued walking. "Gar, you are so going to get us killed like this. I mean it; Nightwing will skin us and leave our pelts to dry in front of Happy Harbor High School."

"Now you're just exaggerating," Garfield insisted. He stopped, facing the costumed boy. "It's just a harmless prank. I mean, it's not like they go commando, right?" A sobering thought hit him. "Nightwing _doesn't_ go commando, right?" he asked seriously.

"Gross!" Tim jumped at the thought. He continued walking briskly past Garfield, careful not to trip over his tail. "That's tactically irresponsible on his part. I mean, what with all the running and jumping and combat. Not to mention super uncomfortable. "

"No, but his costume is pretty tight. When have you seen any underwear lines on him?" He jogged to catch up to Boy Wonder 2.0. "Come to think of, you and Batgirl don't have any either." He stopped in his tracks. The look on his face indicated that his mind was wondering into a rather disturbing train of thought.

Tim sighed, pulling back the edge of his pants slightly, revealing a white pair of tight-fitting briefs. "Bats has specific ones that don't create lines when we wear our costumes—"

"Wait, the Batman _makes _your undies? _Crime-fighting_ underwear."

Tim shot him a look. "_Buys _them online. We don't _have_ to use it, but it's definitely more flattering if the press snaps a shot without any underwear lines. Same goes for me goes for Nightwing goes for Batgirl, Kid Flash, and most spandex heroes."

"Hmm, noted."

"Not that it matters today. Most everyone is here in civilian wear. Speaking of which, I should probably get changed—"

"No time! Let's just get this over with before you chicken out." Garfield sprinted down the twisting hallways that led to the main living room. Tim jogged after him. Sure enough, Dick was standing there, chatting with the senior and former members of the team. Babs sat on the couch, casually listening in on multiple conversations. Wally cracked a lame joke, and Dick and Artemis let out pained groans. Cassie, Karen, and La'gaan were clustered around the TV, watching one of those awful reality shows.

"Gar," Tim whispered to the metahuman by his side, "there's so many of them around. Even on the off-chance Nightwing _doesn't_ kill us, Wally most certainly will."

"Relax, why don'tcha?" Garfield insisted, his tail waving him away dismissively. "It's a harmless prank. Just walk up behind them and yank down the jeans. See, they aren't even wearing belts."

"I dunno, I just have a bad feeling—"

"That's just the Bat-instinct against fun. Ignore it for now." He grabbed Tim's wrist and pulled him towards the group. Tim shook his arm free, casually walking behind his team leader. _Oh God, we're gonna die. This will end badly and we will die and Batman will never know. What the hell am I doing, I don't wanna die! Oh, but I can't let Gar do this alone. I am so very screwed…_

Nobody reacted at the sight of the two boys. He felt Garfield's tail tap his upper arm. He glanced over, and saw Garfield nod his head, hands reaching for Wally's waistband. Tim followed suit, and in a second, both pairs of pants slid from waist to ankle.

Tim had been expecting any one of a spectrum of outcomes: plain, boring briefs; a thong; no underwear; underwear with furry kittens on them; Bat-boxers, which Tim owned as well; or even underwear decorated with little hearts with the Superman logo on them.

Somehow, this seemed infinitely worse.

Dick—a guy who was basically his older brother—was wearing Kid Flash boxers. Kid _freaking_ Flash. The thought was jarring. Staring at the obnoxious mustard yellow with little red lightning bolts was like some horrible accident. He wanted to look away desperately, but something inside him forced him to stare and not look away.

Garfield didn't seem to be any better. He had yanked down the pants in order to reveal—wait for it…_Robin_ boxers. They were clearly a couple of years old, since it had Dick's version of the logo set against the black cloth and—_oh my God, it's set against his ass like some obscene target_.

All conversation stopped in the room, and everyone—even the TV watchers—looked over at them. Wally stood there, frozen in embarrassment. Dick was trying to yank his pants back up again, but _oh God I don't remember them being this tight. Why is this taking so long?_ Hunched over, his pants halfway over his knees, he looked at everyone in the room. "I-I can explain—"

"Don't," Artemis interjected, holding up a hand to silence him. "I don't want to hear it. You're only gonna make it worse for yourself."

"No! There is a logical explanation for—"

"I don't wanna hear it, Walls."

"But—!"

"LALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU." She plugged her ears and turned away, refusing to look at the logo placed strategically on the front of his boxers. Realizing the futility, Wally threw his hands in the air and stopped trying to explain. A very awkward silence settled around the cave as Dick continued to fumble pulling up his pants. Wally had reached down to pull up his own, when suddenly…

_"Recognize Batman B01."_

And like that, everything got infinitely worse.

"Batman, I—"

"I don't want to hear it, but whatever it is better be resolved when I leave the waterfall room." With a swish of his cape, he walked away, effectively making the situation 20 times more awkward. As both boys fumbled with their pants, Tim and Gar started backing up. They ran back down the hall they came from, trying to get as best a head start as they could from what they expected to be a very vengeful chase from a speedster and ninja-acrobat.

Watching them flee, Barbara finally spoke up. "I gotta say—and it pains me to say it, because you _know _I hate your wordplay, Nightwing—that those two boys definitely put the 'dis' back into everyone's 'turbed.'" The sound they made was not human.

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Anybody else impressed that I've made several uploads in recent times?

Well, don't expect it anymore. School starts next Thursday, so do not have expectations of any oneshots or new chapters or anything.

However, I will continue writing, so feel free to leave prompts. Prompts are completed when I have inspiration, regardless of ask order. They are published when I have time.

Feel free to leave them on my DeviantArt (iwa-kid) or my writing Tumblr (prompt-eater). Shoot me a PM, leave a review, it doesn't matter. JUST DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING, OKAY?

I should really get some unity within my accounts. Anybody object to me making all of them "iwa-kid"? Oh well, I'll make my decision one day...


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